State of Affairs

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I don’t think I’m the only American who’s feeling frustrated about the lack of qualified candidates to be our next President.  Never before have I heard so many people, both Republican and Democrat, saying that the only reason they are voting for their party’s chosen candidate is simply to keep the other candidate, or the other party, out of office.  It seems like we’re all going to use our votes as defensive weapons this time around.  No matter how much we may despise our candidate, at least they are better than the alternative, right?

This is a new phenomenon.  I’m used to seeing Americans support a candidate because they admire them.  In the past, if I was going to give someone my precious vote, they would have earned it.  How?  By showing me they had some experience in leadership and in government.  By giving me solid, feasible, realistic ideas about how they plan to improve our society and our world.  By being honest and straightforward with me.  By showing me they had courage, character and conviction in their beliefs.  By being trustworthy….yes, worthy of my trust.  

Throughout our nation’s history, great leaders have always floated to the top of this boiling pot of society to inspire us, to show us what’s possible.  They are never perfect (that’s only happened once in human history, with a little divine intervention), and I may not always agree with everything they say or want to do.  But usually there has been a candidate I could accept, rally around and support.  I might have to use my imagination and interpretive skills to dress him slightly differently in my own mind, or perhaps intentionally overlook a few warts and wrinkles with my own filtering mechanisms, but at least I could ultimately find them to be an acceptable President, one that I could at least be comfortable with.  If only I could feel that way today!

Last week, as I watched the Republican National Convention on television, the cameras would sometimes pan through the audience, showing us the faces of the conventioneers.  I loved seeing all those good, solid Americans….precinct chairmen, county judges, county clerks, commissioners, business leaders, local politicians, and lots of just common people.  Salt of the earth.  Gone to Cleveland to participate in the process. They are what make this country great.  They know what is right and wrong.

I kept envisioning that one of these strong, good-hearted Americans would suddenly stand up, throw the yellow bullshit penalty flag high in the air, and put an end to the madness.  I know it’s not this simple, but in my dream it would look and sound something like this:

(CNN anchorman Wolf Blitzer)  “and in just a few minutes we’ll be hearing from one more of Donald Trump’s children…..

(CNN reporter Anderson Cooper, interrupting)   “Hold on a second, Wolf, I need to break in here… there seems to be a little commotion on the floor of the convention.  It appears that an unknown delegate from the Texas delegation has just run up on the stage and grabbed the microphone…”

(Wolf Blitzer)  “Yes, we can see that from here in the booth, Anderson.  He’s dressed in one of those red, white and blue Texas flag shirts that we’ve seen worn by that state’s delegation all week, and a western hat.  Can you confirm who he is or what he’s doing?  Is security or the Secret Service responding?”

(Cooper)  “Wolf, we don’t really know who he is at this point, but I can tell you that there has been absolutely no movement by the security officers or the Secret Service here around the stage to remove him.  In fact, I almost can’t believe it, but it looked as if they all were helping this person up to the podium and are now smiling and shaking his hand, as if they are glad to see him there!”

(CNN reporter Dana Bash)  “Wolf, I’m standing here on the floor next to the Texas delegation, and I’m being told by members of that delegation that this person on the stage is one Gordon Bailey, from Jacksonville, Texas.  His fellow delegates say his nickname is “Pudge”, and he evidently is a state district judge back in his home county.  He’s now at the mic, let’s listen…”

(Texas delegate “Pudge” Bailey)    “…..are exactly the same things that you are frustrated with!  Well, listen folks.  We don’t have to settle for this!  What in heaven’s name are we doing here?  I’ve talked to so many of you this week, and I know that there’s not a handful of you here in this hall who really like our candidate, our platform, or even what our party looks like right now.  Have we all lost our cotton-pickin’ minds?  Listen here….”

(Chant rising up from the Texas delegation)   “WE WANT PUDGE!  WE WANT PUDGE!   WE WANT PUDGE!”

(“Pudge” Bailey)   “…my name is Gordon Bailey, my friends call me Pudge, but don’t hold that against me, and I’d like to throw my hat in the ring to become the next President of the United States.  I know I only have a few minutes here before Mr. Trump’s folks come and usher me off the stage, so I’ll be brief.   Here is what I hold dear, what I believe in, and what you need to know about me….

• All of us were created equal by God Almighty.  I don’t care what color you are, or where you come from…if you respect our country, our system of laws, and if you’re a “giver” and not just a “taker”, I will love you and respect you, defend you, and fight for you.
• We have a system of government, and a system of law and order that, while it’s not perfect yet, it’s the best in the world.  That system must be respected, or the whole thing falls apart.  And that applies to everyone, from the lowliest goat rancher to the highest Secretary of State.  If you don’t respect it, you suffer the consequences.
• I’ve worked hard for what little I have.  My government is taking too much of my hard earned money from me to pay for excessive entitlements and wasteful, useless programs, and making me pay to support the “takers” that I don’t want to support!
• We have huge threats in the world today, all over the place, from barbaric, hateful people.  I hate to say it, but I believe they are so barbaric and out of control, that the only way to rid the world of this evil is to kill them….all of them.  By the way, let me introduce the first member of my Cabinet to you, my fellow Texan and your new Secretary of Defense, Mr. Marcus Lutrell.  Stand up, Marcus!  He’s ready to go to work!

(Continued chants from the Texas delegation, as well as the Tennessee, Louisiana, and Utah delegations now)  “PUDGE!”   “PUDGE!”   “PUDGE!”   “PUDGE!”

(“Pudge” Bailey)   “Just a couple more things you need to know about me….

• Those who know me will tell you that I will always be honest with you.  If I say it, you can believe it to be true.  
• I will respect you.  I will respect our nation.  I will always put America first.  I will always support and defend our Constitution.  I will support and defend our military and our first responders.  
• I don’t owe anything to anybody.  I will always speak my mind without any influence from someone else.  I will not be beholden to anyone else or any group.  Anything I say or do as your President will only be done because I truly think it’s the right thing to do for you and our country, not because of some special interest or lobby group.
• I love and honor God, my family, and my country.  I have a beautiful wife back in Texas who I’ve loved for 33 years, and my 5 kids are ever bit as good-looking as those Trump kids are!

So that’s what you need to know about me.  With your vote, I believe we can bring this country back to common sense again.  Vote for me Pudge Bailey!”

(Chants from the entire floor now)  “PUDGE!  PUDGE!  WE WON’T BUDGE!”   “PUDGE!  PUDGE!  WE WON’T BUDGE”

And then I wake up, sadly.

I won’t be watching the Democratic National Convention this week.  I honestly don’t think I could.

Luckily, I’ll be in the Sierra Nevada mountains all week, just a little northwest of Lake Tahoe.  My buddy David is going to try and teach me how to fish for trout.  Flows are high in the lower Truckee River, and the fish are biting!  

I also plan to work some on my photography skills while I’m here, so check back here all week if you’re interested in seeing some of God’s natural beauty.  I’ll share with you what I see!

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